• The 1st World Championship of Crap Surfing, December 2006

  • A world champion is born! Her name is Louise Bennett

    Well there we are. What a great day! 

    The first World Championship of Crap Surfing 2006
    Left to right, Mark Butterworth, Louise Bennet and Kelly Hargreaves enjoy the grand ceremony

    The Crap Surfer World Championships are finished and we have a third, second and first place. 

    1st: Louise Bennett WCSC view profile 

    The first World Championship of Crap Surfing 2006
    Luouise reaching her feet as she hits the beach.

    Louise was nearly knocked out of her heat by the Butterworth bomber being saved from a rip trip to Brittany. 

    After squeezing through to the final, she slammed the opposition into supporting roles with a canny display of 'total inside ride' crap surfing She also attempted many more waves than the others. This gave the panel, in turn, many more chances to see just how heart rendingly earnest her desire to be a good surfer was.This, mesured against her bevvy of shoddy pop ups, knee hauling horrors, poor paddling, pearling and much much more, left a 'no brainer for those esteemed and learned judges on handing over the big championship winning points. All in all, a fabulous crap surfing display for the rest of us to watch and learn from. 

    2nd: Kelly Hargreaves view profile 

    The first World Championship of Crap Surfing 2006
    Pearl or wipeout Kelly? waiting for action in the impact zone...Photo by Stephen Hamill 

    Kelly arrived with a smoke on the go and a flask of something very dangerous in her mit. This did not diguise a steely desire for crap surfing glory. Cheered on by her fabulous supporters, she nearly got knocked out for failing to attempt to stand up. however, true to form, she kept going and came good with some shamefully poor wave selection (see above) and tasty wipeouts. All this performed nice and close to the shore to catch the judges eye. Offering, woeful yet perky moves by the dozen, kelly was a truly crap surfer. Her position was totally deserved. One to watch for next year. 

    3rd: Mark Butterworth view profile 

    The first World Championship of Crap Surfing 2006
    A stoked Mark Butterfield comes ashore completely oblivious of his freak tube ride).

    Mark surfed craply throughout the day. He started as the stand out front runner and boy, was he running hot. He piled on the early points with some truly classic work, culminating in being saved by Adam, our fabulous life guard from wandering off out to sea on the rip. Dispite the cheers from the crowd, many wondered aloud, if it was all a little too much too early?. Even taking into account his classic unintentional entry to a left handed mini barrel, it became clear that he just could not stay with the intensity of Louise and Kellys rampant wave hunger. Some hoped for a last knockout move but alas for the Bomber, it never came. 


    Justin Denman was unlucky not to be in the medals in the 4 person final. No one watching him doubted his commitment, drifting down beach in a wave catching frenzy may have made it more difficult for the judges to spot him. The big lad took it on the chin like a true crap surfer and was seen chatting happily later at the bar. 

    Congratulations to you four and long may you ride. 

    Oh yes. 

    It should be mentioned that, Leo Kirkman (hand carved crap trophies are him) and Sam White (the dark horse late entry pictured below) both came close to disqualification for being too good and being spotted by the judges pretending to be crapper than they really were. People started Booing (and quite rightly so) at Kirkman after three consecutive well caught waves. 

    This was the only negative in a day of monster positives for the worlds uncoolest surf movement. But hey, what would Ali have been with no George Foreman? 

    It was with great pride that other crap surfers watched as Louise, (our new world champ) 'out-partied' the hard core at the Bosuns locker 'night spot' till the wee wee small hours. She was last seen handing out some evil looking shot glasses at around two a.m. 

    The first World Championship of Crap Surfing 2006
    (Sam comes ashore, his secret exposed) 

    We say 'out-partied' yes indeed. Well, that is to say, all apart from local legend, Sam White (above) who was seen dancing on his own, on the stage, with his outdoor coat on in what was descibed by one on looker as, "the dance of a man who has nothing left to prove". 

    Good on yer Sam you did it for all of us. 

    The radio doc is on between 9 and 10 am on Saturday live, this Saturday (or perhaps next week. Sorry about that, hope you all enjoyed the Ulster santa house report????) on Radio 4. 

    So thanks to all who came. 

    Adam the lifeguard 

    The first World Championship of Crap Surfing 2006
    Julie Kitchen (Double Ladies World Kick Boxing Champion, click here for a video ), Sean Stevenson (surfer, community leader and scantle roofing specialist) and Essex Tyler (ex British junior surf champ, gallery owner (click here for Tyler Gallery and new father) for judging. 

    Ed for filming, 

    Mod for some prizes. 

    Our Sponsors: SurfMaster.co.uk for the body board and GlobalBoarders.com for the T-Shirts and Leo for the trophies. 

    Mark for dealing with Radio 4. 

    Everyone who turned up, your support was really appreciated. Luckily we were able to arrange some Sun for you all. 

    The first World Championship of Crap Surfing 2006
    Above, Praa sands beach break knocking out a cheeky peak for the clones, whilst the real action pumped at six inches deep on the ripped up, bust down, inside ride. Rock on you crap surfers, rock on!

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